On a prem forum that I read there has been some recent discussion about the negative judgements that are made by the general public against children because of their size and stature. It is so sad that there is such harsh perceptions about a person's ability based on their size. It was interesting that as the discussion progressed that there were stories about harsh and unfair judgements made about children that were either small for their age or tall for their age. I wonder were the public get their screwed perceptions from.
I remember when Miss T was 2, she was still very small in stature and she was unable to walk and unable to talk but she loved to go to the indoor play centre with her older sister who was then 4. I used to play with her in the babies area because the larger equipment wasn't accessible for her and because of her poor balance and coordination she could easily fall with the other children's boisterous play. Another mother came and sat next to me one day with an eight month old baby. We got talking with the normal mother/infant/baby chatter and then the dreaded question "and how old is your daughter?" Now this was the time of Miss T's diagnoses, so I was very sensitive and was well aware of her delays. When I told this mother that she was 2 years old, she looked Miss T and I up and down with a look of disgust and picked her daughter up and walked away. I felt like saying "don't worry prematurity and CP aren't catching". What was she scared of - did I present what she feared the most - having a child that isn't "normal" or was it just pure rudeness.
I don't think there is that much that can be done to change some peoples ill concieved perceptions about someones size and abilities. I can although make sure that my daughters grow up without the need to judge people harshly in regards to colour, race, size, ability. Maybe that has been one of the upsides of this journey, that at least my girls understand that behind every person who doesn't fit into a "normal" box lies feelings and people who love and care for them.
But then again what is normal?
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When Paige (25.5 weeker-PROM at 23.0 weeks) was about 3 her and I were shopping and she was pushing the shopping cart-holding on to the lower part of the cart. I was doing the steering. It was great therapy for her! hehe
A woman, dressed in scrubs-clearly a nurse from a nearby hospital, proceeds to give me a piece of her mind. She went on and on about how it's not good to let a 1 year old push a cart because it's not good for their legs. This scolding went on for about 2 minutes. I kept on walking and she kept on following me. I just ignored her.
I was in line paying for my groceries when she got in line behind me and started scolding me all over again. The cashier (who knew us) started yelling at the nurse to shut up, explaining that Paige was not a one year old but in fact over 3 years old. She went on to tell the woman that she shouldn't speak to people the way she was talking to me and then told the nurse how premature Paige was born. The nurse then turned to me and said, "Clearly you don't feed that child properly. She is too small for her age."
When the woman walked away the cashier asked me why I let her talk to me that way. I explained that I had 3 years of people (family, friends and strangers) telling me their thoughts on caring for MY child, that I've just learned to ignore it.
I have to admit though, I really felt like punching that woman in the mouth. hehe
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