Mental Health Day

I hope that no one gets me wrong in this post. I love my girls very, very much and would do anything and everything I can to help them achieve their potential in life. It is just that I'm at a point nearly seven years down the track where I'm feeling a little burnt out and over the therapy, the intervention, the fights, the advocacy all the rest. I hate the way I'm thinking at the moment. I just am finding it so hard to motivate myself and keep it all up. I did something terrible today and took a mental health day from Miss T's speech therapy session. For some insane reason it just all seemed too hard today.

I guess a lot of this has been building up as the year progressed. We didn't have a fantastic start to the year with Miss T and lack of school resourcing as she commenced year one (that all deserves a separate post). Miss T is high functioning, because her CP is ataxic it is not all together noticeable unless you look closely at her skills and development. She has beautiful social skills, is super compliant and has learnt how to mask her disability which often works against her when asking for support.

We source all her therapy and educational support services privately, please believe that I don't begrudge on cent spent on all of it. I know that she wouldn't be where she is today without it. I am grateful that we have been in the position to do so. There are several positives to using private services for us, including choice of care provider, assessments that are not biased by funding (funding is the equivalent "F" word in our house), continuity of care, being listened too, not being knocked back for intervention based on poor government policy, the list goes on. I know we have it so much better than many families and I apologise to anyone who is offended by my post but I'm just so tired of the constant appointments, juggling and the pure unfairness of government policy in this country in regards to disability resources for children.

I kind of wonder sometimes what it would be like to take a few months off from therapy and Miss T's educational support program. But I don't dare. I don't think I could handle placing her in a worse position by neglecting her needs. These are her needs and I guess I just need to get on with it and keep going. My motivation will come back until then I will just have to make myself keep up with her therapy and support. I promise no more mental health days in the near future.